The Endless Calm Of A Stormy Night

“I adore him," she said. "I feel compassion for him because he's totally fucked up.”

The most vital, the most important part of me. The part that lives, breathes and exists. The part that keeps me alive.
That essential element, that makes me whole. All of me, none of me. You.
The swirls of color, the last shaky breath. The stabs of panic, the thrills of excitement. Imperfect, young, foolish. Us.
The years that go on by, the moments that never end. That feeling of being alive, so alive. The feeling of knowing, in every sense of the word, that I'm alright. And then not so much.
Come together, only to fall apart once more, to dream, only to wake up once more.
My dream, my nightmare, my thunderstorm.
I love stories, I love the characters in them, I love the way it all plays out, for better for worse.
I love the way you're a story in yourself. I hate the way, I never know how it ends.
Endless tomorrows, unhappy yesterdays.
The way you speak, your words, your thoughts, I'm fascinated. I listen, because I know there is no other way, I know that I will always need to know more, to know all of you, to see the best of you.
The half of us, the least of you, the best of me. The restlessness, the feeling of never being comfortable in my skin.
Your voice, floating on a cold winter night, miles away from me. Of knowing that you'll always be a part of me. No, that can't be right, because I have none of you, how could I?
A part of me, that rests in you, the most vital part of me. I exist, without you, because I know no other way. But it's never enough. How could it ever be? How could I ever get enough of you?
The even, peaceful calm of life, disturbed by you. Simply because you are. Somewhere, someplace you are.
A love that lasted years, that refused to go away, that clings stubbornly like burs, and lives and breathes in me.
A vision of perfection, too removed from convention. Like bright city lights, hiding the darkness within. Yet so hard to resist, like home. Pulling, always pulling my heartstrings.

Include me in your visions of Paradise, include me in your favorite dreams. Include me in your visions of homes filled with dogs, and laughter. Of a life that doesn't demand too much of you. Sketch me into your drawings of forever, and imperfection, and crooked teeth. Live and breathe me, even if only for a moment. Forget the words that destroyed us, even if only for that moment. Run with me, let the winds that whip my hair into a frenzy, push you back. Find a cave, facing the sea, stay there, and wonder what if? When life happens to you, picture me in some part of the world, and wonder if I'm thinking of you. Allow memories of me, to haunt you.

Lean on me. Know that I can take it, that even if I can't, you'll be okay. Tell me. All that I need to hear, and all that I never need to know. Because that's who I am to you.
I don't know how or when this ends, because who the hell can see forever?
But I know that for me, you will never go away.
And in some strange parallel universe, I am your world.
And that will have to be enough.